Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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