Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Houston, we have a blender
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
