I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
