My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
