Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
