i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
