belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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