I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
