so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
