Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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