Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
