Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
