Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
