The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
