hell yes lets make some ravioli
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
