Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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