your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
