So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
