it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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