Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
