: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
