I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
