Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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