I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
