I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
