i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
