Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
