So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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