You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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