I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
