Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
