I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize