I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
