my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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