maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
