i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
