I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
