ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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