drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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