dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
