I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
