My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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