I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
