Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
