If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
