ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
