So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
