3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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