Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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