She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
