Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
