Your mouth is God's brothel.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize