so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
