About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
