I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My sheets look like a crime scene.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
