My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
