Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize