Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
