"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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