They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think I sprained my soul last night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
