Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize