Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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