I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
this will be a night to untag.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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