i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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