I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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