Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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